Meta-graduation

I got my exam grades two weeks ago and it turns out I passed, so now all I need for my diploma is one last internship. It’s been unexpectedly bittersweet to get my results; though of course I hoped and believed that I passed, in the last six months I had a goal to work toward, and now that I have reached it, well I need to face the reality of working in a kitchen for real and not as an intern, as soon as this summer. Of course I am thinking of starting my own business, but I don’t feel like I’m ready at all; the restaurant business is so vast and there’s still so much to learn, and the more experience I gain the more I realize this.
In the meantime, I am searching for one last place to work as an intern. I sent an email to Le Petit Nice, which is the only three Michelin star restaurant in the area (the next one would be Alain Ducasse’s Louis XV in Monaco). I haven’t heard back from them so I am taking it as a sign to go elsewhere. Basically the chef’s reputation is amongst the worst I’ve heard of… he spends his time yelling insults at his cooks and gratuitously humiliating them. Why, do you ask, would I ever want to work with someone like that? For starters, the writer in me is fascinated by the caricature and simply witnessing him in action. How could I not want to work with him!
On the other hand, having spent two miserable weeks at my last restaurant, which almost completely sapped me of my desire to work in a kitchen, so I’m thinking perhaps that would be the wrong thing to do at the moment. My advisor also told me that I should do something I enjoy, as a present for myself, in French, “fais-toi plaisir” which literally means, “pleasure yourself” (you’ve got to love the French for this- I couldn’t imagine an American advisor giving me this kind of advice). Not to mention that I was reading the blog zencancook.com yesterday and there was an entry on spending a day at Eric Ripert’s le Bernardin in New York City. The author said that “I’ve been in quite a few fancy kitchens over the years and this one strikes me as one of the most kind, human and civilized i’ve seen so far. This is a culinary school of the highest level where everyone is given a chance no matter their background.” This means that you don’t have to be mean to be a great chef! As such, the search goes on, Le Petit Nice will not have the honor of working with me after all…